Not As Easy As Love
by fangirlforboys
Summary: What if Blaine had heard Kurt tell Mr Schue that he loved him? FIRST CHAPTER IS A PREVIEW! if you like it and want to see me, then review! Angst! Rape  Nothing too graphic, only T
1. Chapter 1

Hey! This is just a preview! If you guys like the idea REVIEW! if i get a lot of people telling me to continue then i will! I don't own Glee! sadly...

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I slowly walked out of the room. I noticed Mr Schuester walking through the door. I smiled at him as I continued walking. I stopped short when I heard Mr Schue speak.

"Someone special?" He asked hopefully.

"No, but on the upside I'm in love with him and he's actually gay-" Kurt responded cheerily.

Love? Kurt loved me? Me and Kurt? I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I scurried away as fast as I could. Kurt would never know I heard him. I walked quickly to my dorm room and threw open the door. I looked inside and noticed and Wes wasn't there.

He must have gone out. I crept slowly to my bed. I flopped down, belly first, with a loud sigh. Why couldn't things with Kurt be easy! Now that I knew he loved me I could actually act on my feelings. But it isn't right! I am older then Kurt.

Kurt doesn't need any more crazy in his life. A boyfriend with mental problems is something he won't ever need. Yes, I admit I do have my fair case of crazy. it all started when I first came to Dalton. I was a scared boy with crazy dark brown curls and mysterious eyes.

That's when I met him…Derrick. Derrick was everything to me. My first boy kiss, my first love. We had been dating for three months when it happened. I remember him coming to my dorm room. We had a date…well if you can call making out and grinding a date.

That's when he pushed me against the wall. I remember his breath in my ear, telling me that he had needs. I wasn't ready, I was so not ready. I shrieked and screamed. No one came. When he was finished he walked out of the room.

I crumpled against the floor and just cried. That's how Wes and David found me. Pants scrunched around my ankles, blood marking the soft cream carpet. My face covered by my hands, wailing uncontrollably.

I had been violated by the first person I ever let into my life. I had been betrayed. Wes and David eventually convinced my to tell my parents, which I did. Then there was the whole lawsuit. And the entire time all I ever wanted was for it to be all over. I just wanted it to stop hurting.

Everyday was a reminder; I could feel the emptiness inside me.


	2. Authors Note! VERY IMPORTANT

AUTHORS NOTE! VERY IMPORTANT!

I have decided to continue! All of your comments were greatly appreciated! The next update will be on later tonight!

Also I have posted a link to a picture of what Derrick looks like! Very important for this story!

Thanks so much for reading!

Love, fangirlforboys


	3. Chapter 2

A/N

This chapter follows right after Kurt tells Mr Schue that he has a present idea! Also, this chapter is Kurt's POV

Enjoy!

Kurt's POV

"So you have the perfect present idea?" Mr Schue asked wearily. I smiled brightly as I nodded my head vigorously.

"What is it?"

"Come on, I'll show you." I said, grinning from ear to ear.

Retail therapy is just what I need right now. Plus I really wanted to do my Christmas deed. Yeah that might sound a bit strange but I have a special rule that I do one good deed on Christmas. I guess I can cross one thing of my to do list. Yippee!

"Kurt? Where is the present?" Mr Schue asked expectantly. I slowly turned towards the door, motioning for him to follow.

"A few nights ago I was on Blaine's laptop and I stumbled upon a tracksuit with fur lining. Fake of course though." I explained to him. I turned my face away from the large oak doors and looked at his face. His face was lit up like a Christmas tree!

"That's perfect Kurt!" He said excitedly, pulling me into a hug.

I giggled quietly as I hugged him back. I pulled away and started walking down the corridor leading towards the dorms.

"Wait, who is Blaine?" Mr Schue questioned, one eyebrow going up. I stopped walking and laughed as I shook my head slowly. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

"Really? The lead singer of The Warblers, also the guy I'm totally in love with, as I mentioned before." I said in a mocking voice. How could anyone ever forget about meeting Blaine? Blaine was like an explosion of everything wonderful. I guess I was a bit partial since I'm, you know, in love with him.

I starred at Mr Schue's face waiting for it to click, and laughing slowly as he slowly nodded his head. I began walking as Mr Schue finally spoke again.

"Kurt where are we going?" My ex-spanish teacher asked.

"We are going to Blaine's dorm room. My laptop crapped out…uh I mean broke" Laughing internally at Mr Schue's expression when I swore "Anyways, I save the link on his laptop, so we have to there anyways." I explained to him.

He smiled and nodded his head. After a few minutes of walking down the hall we stopped infront of a large black oak door. Right in the middle was a gold sign. Blaine Warren was inscripted in loopy cursive.

"He gets a sign because he is the hall monitor." I motioned to the sign, clearing up the confusion on Will's face.

I raised my first slowly getting ready to knock, but changed my mind in the last second and just opened the door. The sight that greeted me was something I had never seen.

Blaine was lying on his stomach, tears streaming down his face at a steady pace.

"Blaine?" I asked, but there was no answer so I walked farther into the room. I stopped short when I heard him scream out.

"Please don't! Oh god…no! Stop Derrick!" Blaine yelled into his pillow. His screams were muffled slightly by his pillow, but were still clear enough.

I started moving again. I stepped towards the bed and sat down on the edge softly.

"Blaine?" No answer.

"It's okay, no one will hurt you." When I finished my short speech I reached down and stroked his back lightly. I felt him tense under my hand and jump up from his bed. When he jumped up his fist hit my nose. Hard!

I screamed out in agony as I fell to my knees in searing pain. Blaine quickly looked down and gasped. He fell to his knees next to me and grabbed my by shoulders and pulled me into a rough hug.

"Oh god! I'm so sorry! I didn't know you where there!" He quickly apologized. I looked up at him and smiled meekly, I wanted him to know it was okay and there were no hard feelings.

As our private seen went on I completely forget about Mr Schue who was standing awkwardly in the door way.

"I think you should go Mr Shue. I'll email you later." I said softly, looking into his eyes and hoping he would understand.

He nodded silently as he walked out of the room. He shut the door quietly on his way out.

After sitting quietly for a few moments I remembered what had happened before Blaine so rudely punched me in the face.

"Blaine?" I asked cautiously not looking into his eyes as I spoke "Who is Derrick?" I asked softly. I began to worry as I felt Blaine stiffen next to me.

"I-he-he was my first boyfriend…" He trailed off softly, his eyebrows scrunching up with sadness, fighting the tears that were begging to come.

"Why were you yelling?" I asked while reaching out to grab his hand. As soon as my skin touched his, he pulled away and moved to the other side of the carpet.

"I was having a nightmare." He said, as if it was a normal thing to be screaming and crying in your sleep. I nodded at him as I gestured for him to go on.

"It was-it was my…bully's." He said while shuddering. I scooted over to him and leaned against him softly.

"You can tell me everything Blaine…" I said softly.

"No! I can't, please stop." Blaine said, tears slowly running down his face.

What was that supposed to mean? I had beared my soul to him! Why couldn't he ever open up to me! Whenever we hung out it was always me crying! He clearly had problems he needed help with.

I was about to tell him all of this when Wes and David walked into the room. When they noticed Blaine crying they crossed the room wearily.

"What happened to him?" Wes asked me, concern and worry masking his usually mono tone voice.

I squinted as I got up. Once I was safely on both my feet I turned to Blaine and glared. I turned back to Wes and replied sharply.

"I don't know. Maybe he will tell you since he seems to think he can't talk to me."

I turned on my heel and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I regretted saying those things the moment I shut the door. He clearly had problems of his own, now to add a fight with a friend to that pile was just cruel.

As soon as I was a safe distance from the door I sat down. I sat still for the next ten minutes. I had so much to think about. Blaine had had a boyfriend? I wondered why he hadn't said anything about that. I can't fight feeling like Blaine doesn't trust me with he secrets the same way I trust him.

AUTHORS NOTE:

Okay! Don't be mad that I made Kurt be a bit mean. Honestly, he has no idea what happened to Blaine, and he feels a bit betrayed.

Loved it? Hated it? REVIEWS PEOPLE! I eat that shit up like crack!

Next chapter:

Wes and David talk to Blaine about his problems!


	4. Chapter 3

A/N

WARNING: SWEARING

Thanks so much for the comments! This story is getting so much attention! This chapter is from Blaine's POV! Enjoy!

Wes looked down at me as he slowly reached out his hand. I grabbed onto his hand and pulled myself up. David slowly pushed me towards the bed first sitting down himself, then motioning for me to follow. I sat down groaning slowly. I ran a hand through my hair, the gel was loosening its hold and my curls were starting to show.

"You want to tell us what the fuck just happened?" Wes said, starting to pace back and forth in front of me. Wes and David looked at me expectantly. I stammered and looked away.

David turned to my pillow and gasped. I got up from my bed quickly and made my way to the door. I needed to get out of this situation now. David motioned to Wes, getting him to stop me. David picked up the piece of paper and waved it in my face.

"What the fuck? We told you to get rid of everything!" Wes said looking at me, and then at David. I ducked my head and shuffled over to my bed. I stared at the picture of Derrick that was in David's hand.

"I-I-I'm so sorry…" I managed to stutter out. I knew I should have hidden the picture before falling asleep. Even if I did try and explain it to them they would never get it. I couldn't forget. I didn't deserve to forget. It was my fault anyways, maybe if I hadn't been such a tease.

Wes interrupted my thoughts "Why are you apologizing to us? We just want you to get better…" He trailed off and smiled slightly at me.

I got off the bed and walked over to my bookshelf. My hand trailed lightly over the textbooks. I turned around facing my best friends.

"I am getting better. Tonight was just a relapse. I promise you guys I'm getting better." I smiled slightly, lying through my teeth.

"We know you're lying Blaine. We have always been there for you. Don't you remember?" David asked, widening his eyes slightly. Wes patted the bed and looked up at me.

I walked over to him and sat down. Of course I remembered everything they've done fore me. I could never forget the kindness and acceptance they've offered me. I sighed slowly and began picking lint off of my grey slacks.

"It was Kurt." I said slowly and quietly. I looked up from my pants and saw Wes motioning for me to continue. I nodded slowly and continued.

"He told Mr Schuester that he loved me…" I said stammering slightly.

"What is bad about that? I thought you felt the same way." David asked, clearly confused. I got up again, getting ready to pace when Wes pulled me back down to the bed.

"He doesn't know me! I'm a disgusting sick monster!" I yelled out, my face turning red with anger and embarrassment. I shouldn't have told them the truth.

But it was so true! Kurt needed someone nice. I'm not nice, I'm awful. If I wasn't bad I wouldn't have been…violated. Kurt shouldn't even look at me. I deserve to die alone.

"Blaine!" David shouted, pulling my face up, forcing me to look at him.

"Never ever say that! You know it's not true! You're the most wonderful kind hearted person I've-we've ever met!" David say quickly, searching my eyes.

"It is true…" I muttered looking down.

David and Wes looked at each other and sighed.

"Why were you crying before?" Wes asked slowly. I shifted awkwardly and groaned.

"The nightmares came back." I said, tears seeping out of my eyes. I felt so embarrassed. They shouldn't have to deal with my crap. David pulled me close to him. He rubbed my back while I cried softly into the crook of his neck.

"Maybe you should continue the therapy?" David whispered softly into my ear. I pulled away from the hug and shook my head. The therapy didn't help. It never would. Talking about what happened just made it worse.

"Are you sure Blaine?" Wes asked, looking at me with pleading eyes. I knew they wanted me to be alright, but I'm not sure that would ever happen. I would try though, just to make them happy.

"I don't need therapy. I need…something…" I said, trying hard to figure what I needed. Maybe it was Kurt? Maybe he was what I needed. But even if that was true, I wasn't what Kurt needed. Kurt might want me, but he doesn't know me.

Kurt see's my outside shell. Not my awful disgusting insides. Only Wes and David had ever seen that part of me. I'm still ashamed they ever saw it though. No one should see such a despicable shitty person.

"What, do you need?" David spoke calmly, trying to get me to open up.

"I have no bloody idea!" I cried, my voice going louder then I expected it to. I brushed a few tears that escaped from my eyes and whimpered.

"I'm sorry for being so crazy. You guys are the best." I told them both. Wes's face darkened with anger as I apologized.

"Never ever apologize for anything Blaine. We are here because we want to be." Wes said, whilst David nodded and shot me a reassuring smile.

I stood up slowly and spoke "You guys are the best. I don't you deserve best friends like you." My eyebrows scrunching up in emotion.

"I love you guys so much." I said slowly. Wes and David stood up and brushed their pants softly. They shot each other a look and moved closer. They pulled me into a strong hug.

For once in my life I felt secure. Not safe, but secure. The pain didn't stop, but for once there was a window opening bit by bit. Maybe sometime I could push my way out and see the light of day.

Authors Note:

OMG! Poor Blaine!

Reviews make me smile. You like when I smile, right? RIGHT?


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